Tas Talks Tuesday: Self Harm and Update!

Greetings Earth... Weblings! It's been so long. Well three weeks, but omg. STILL SO LONG. How are you? Whoever you are, I hope you have had an amazing day filled with smiles and if not, then smile now :) You're amazing. So my friends! Today's topic is going to be on something I feel needs to be spoken about: Self Harming. The causes, the effects, the aftermath. However, before we go into that, please watch the video below on an 'Update' and mini 'Get to know me tag'. This is just because I was away for so long and had not updated you guys. Don't hate me hehe.

Welcome to Tas Talks Tuesday.

UPDATE AND GET TO KNOW ME TAG VIDEO:

SELF HARMING:

Hey my name is ****** (keep it anonymous) I've self harmed before but I'm constantly worried but people seeing my scars and I feel as if I'm not beautiful with them but I don't regret my scars because it shows that I battled through something and I won it at the end but how do I explain it to someone when they see scars without them judging me?xo
- Anonymous, 15

Well firstly, greetings anonymous! I hope you have also had a fantabulous day and are smiling away. If not then *tickles* This e-mail is quite short so I guess I'll get straight to the point and not over evaluate on this topic.

Self harm. Self harming. Suicide. Death. Scars. Scissors. Blades. Burns. Hot Water. Regret. Content. Passion. Relief. Bruising. Hitting. Pinching. Breaking. Break downs. All of these words (and many more) have something to do with self harm, but what does it actually mean? Google says:

 

"Deliberate injury to oneself, typically as a manifestation of a psychological or psychiatric disorder."

That's Google's perception of the term self harm, but what does it mean to others? To some, self harming is their way out of their problems, their issues. It feels good, a relief from internal pain, emotional pain. However, to others its a disease. An addiction that they so badly want to stop but just can't figure out how to. If you self harm, which are you?

 

My personal take on self harm comes not just from my background, but also comes my surroundings, who I've been friends with/are friends with, my family and my Deen (way of life = Islam). All of these aspects make up my opinion and my opinion is this. I don't like self harm. I HATE SELF HARM. Now hold on, before you assume, just wait. I don't hate the self harmERS, I actually just hate the term self harm and the meaning behind it. I am concerned for self harmers. I want to help. The reason is this: firstly, in Islam, self harming is forbidden. This is because our body is a blessing from the one and only Allah SWT (God), so who are we to damage it? We take our body for granted sometimes. Our body is amazing. How it functions, what it needs to function, what it looks like inside. Subhan'Allah! (Glorious is God). The creation of the Almighty is beautiful indeed. Secondly: I feel like there are many other ways to release emotions of pain and sadness, and not by hurting yourself. We shouldn't take life for granted. Yes, as humans we sometimes feel upset because of certain situations or events that has happened in our life but we all must remember that where you are at right now in life is somebody else's dream. We forget that there are so many people on this Earth. People without basic necessities. People that do not take life for granted. We forget. We feel guilty.

 

We should appreciate our pains and problems just as the poor appreciate a cup and a piece of cloth because without these problems, life wouldn't have a meaning. You'd just live and you will not learn.

However, problems are just a part of life. They are not the only necessity for human motivation. The craving to solve problems is just one of the things that drives the human society forward.

 

Now Anonymous, I congratulate you for not continuing to self harm (I'm only presuming as you said you 'used to' self harm). The fact that you are scared of being judged about your scars scares me. Why? Is your sole purpose in life to please 'the people', especially the ignorant ones? No. Then why bother about them? Also, I congratulate you on the fact that you know your scars was a battle. You won. You overcame it. That's beautiful to me. Now HOLD UP. You do not NEED to explain anything to that person who is currently judging you. Unless you personally know them and care about them and vice versa, you needn't not explain a thing! The reasons you self harmed are reasons that are sacred and precious to you. They are moments that will live inside you and has the capability of coming out unless you simple don't care anymore and let go of those insecurities. 

 

Now I don't want to carry on saying to people that self harm the normal crap that they hear day in day out from people that don't really care. But believe me. I care.

 

Do me a favour and don't turn back to it. I don't want it to ever become and addiction for you anonymous, or for anyone. There are many other alternatives to self harming. You need to open your eyes and let yourself come to terms with other alternatives such as (naming a few)

 

• Listen to music and sing along loudly
• Draw a picture of what is making you angry
• Blow up a balloon and pop it
• Scribble on photos of people in magazine
• Go for a run
• Write your feelings on paper then rip it up

There are many more others, you just need to test these alternatives out whenever you feel the temptation to self harm and see what works best for you.

 

In'Sha'Allah (If God Wills) you can all overcome this. You are all in my Du'ahs (Prayers) and I wish you AND anonymous the absolute best of luck. Hugs xxx

 

And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for your time! Keep those queries coming at me on my e-mail! Good luck to you all. God bless! xx


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

For now...SALUTATIONS X

 

 



Tas Talks Tuesday: Patience

Greetings my lovely people! From the title, you probably are thinking "what happened to Tas Talks Tuesday?". Honestly, today I felt like I had to get something off my chest because it had been bugging me for absolute ages. So here it is. This is going to be a long un'. Get yourself comfortable because i'm sure this topic will get you thinking a lot.

Welcome to Tas Talks Tuesday.


Let's define the word patience before we get started. Patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.
Now think. Are you patient?

Many things have been brewing these last couple of weeks and I initially thought I would just burst and break down with emotions, pouring my heart out and feeling depressed. I did. It wasn't great. It wasn't a nice feeling. I didn't understand why though. How did small things get to me? How does small things get to you? I'll tell you why, because every single small detail, annoyance or problem that occurs in life builds up to this huge and heavy puzzle that drags you down. You get tired, stressed out and you have no clue why or how. Your upset and you have no idea. Your angry but you don't know why you are angry. Your mood swings get a bit too much for others, for yourself. People ask you what's wrong and you do not know what to say to them because honestly, you don't know what's wrong yourself. "I'm fine" you say. Fake a smile and pretend like nothing wrong has happened in your life. That's a battle for many people. A battle that can never be won no matter how many weapons you've acquired.

There's so much suffering going on around the world, as we speak, and that gets to people like you and me. We feel guilty about complaining about our problems... we want to bottle everything up. This is a reminder to me as well but seriously, we can't bottle everything up. We'll eventually crack. Once that's happened, there's no way you'll ever feel yourself again. Trust me.
We don't want to carry on complaining about everything being messed up or the fact that everything is not going 'according to plan', but sometimes we can't help ourselves. We're human. Humans seek nurture and the goodness in people. Thank Allah for my best friends. I don't know where I would be without some of you darlings :)

The question that everyone who feels impatient is: how do I become patient?! Firstly, I shall bombard you all with these beautiful quotes from the Qu'ran (the Islamic holy book) and some Muslim Scholars. Read and think. It doesn't matter if you are from a different religion; if you believe in God(s) then take the quotes on board In'Sha'Allah (if God wills) and if you do not believe in God, then try to see the bigger picture? :)

I love this quote. I think it explains itself. The best thing to do when you are an impatient person is to never deny the fact that there will be better days. Pray and pray hard, whatever your religion. Your prayers are your one to one conversation with God. He listens. He plans. He rewards. If your reward is not in this Dunya (this world) then it will be in the Hereafter In'Sha'Allah. When you feel like no one cares and no one is listening to what you're saying, think again.

How true is this? I think it's safe to say we've all lost our temper at one point in life due to the impatience and not being able to bite our lip and keep our words to ourselves. Once something is said, it can never be taken back. “Because even the smallest of words can be the ones to hurt you, or save you.”

My favourite quote in the world. I live by this but I sometimes forget to be at peace with myself because I am the only one who is truly stopping myself from being 'the better me'. This applies to you as well. BITE YOUR LIP AND SAY NOTHING. Do not complain because the more time you spend complaining, the less time you'll have to enjoy your blessings.

 

ADVICE.

First of all, release your stress and anger in a way no one would know. Scream into your pillow, write a letter about your feelings and rip it up. Psychologically, you'll feel weightless. You have finally released your emotions in a way which you will not cause harm to yourself or others.

Secondly, try to distance yourself from situations/people/things/tasks that cause you great grief and adds to your impatience meter. Whether it be in school, tell a teacher. TELL A TEACHER! Listen to me, it won't get any better if you don't tell someone with authority because your impatience is your own worst enemy. It can get you into a lot of trouble. 

Lastly, learn that it takes time to become patient and is a skill because you can learn to be patient. In the long run, being patient will affect your behaviour in a more positive way. Whenever you feel the urge to shout or scream or you feel as if you not able to keep in your problems, struggle etc; learn to relax. Keep calm and carry on. WADD'UP TUMBLR REFERENCE WOO.

 

I want you, yes you, to know it gets better. For me, it's still getting there. I won't lie, I'm not 100% satisfied with my patience but i'm learning. I'm learning how to cope and so should you.

 

And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for your time! Keep those queries coming at me on my e-mail! Good luck to you all. God bless! xx


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com
For now...SALUTATIONS X

DELAY! Tas Talks Tuesday: Best Friend Issues

HOWDY MATES. Yes it isn't Tuesday but please don't kill me because it's actually all my teachers fault. Darn homework. Also the fact that Blogger was being stupid and was not allowing me to upload my video delayed this whole process so thank you everyone who stayed patient! So today's post is going to be completely different as I won't be doing much typing. There's a whole video instead. It's pretty interesting. Scroll down below. If it doesn't work, then it's probably because you need to view it from a computer or laptop. Enjoy.

Welcome to Tas Talks Tuesday (Thursday lol)

 

 

"Hi tasneem, I've seen your other blog posts where you've help others and I was hoping you could help me.
See I've noticed that my best friend is changing, and not in a good way, she's becoming very judgemental of others and is constantly contradicting herself. And she's also kindof distancing herself, like she'll want to go out and she'll never ask me to go with her, like that's cool I'm not saying she cant have other friends, but I just feel like I'm losing my best friend, like she doesn't even care about me. I feel as though if I don't agree with her shell kindof mutter something rude under her breath.
I know this is not how she really is but I feel as though if I say anything she'll be offended and our relationship will be awkward.
Any advice?
Thanks" - Louise, 14 

KEY ADVICE:

1) Please distance yourself and observe how she/he acts/behaves towards you in different situations. For example, when he/she is with a group of friends and just be yourselves.
2) Talk. It doesn't matter if it's awkward. You need to talk or those feelings of distance will continue to grow.
3) See your 'best friend's' true colours. If you find that they are not treating you right or respecting you, walk away from that situation. People who are rude are not worth your time Louise.

I'm going to end this post with a quote.

 

And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for your queries my #neemers! Good luck Louise. I hope you overcome your problems x


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

For now...SALUTATIONS X

Tas Talks Tuesday: ALONE.

Greetings Weblings! I'm going to get straight to the point on this post because I feel like the title itself has already made you somewhat sad. Unfortunately the e-mail I read this week is not exactly something in my expertise because fortunately I haven't exactly experienced something like this. I'm going to try my best to advise this person (and you) well. No jokes today, I'll just get straight to it.

Welcome to Tas Talks.

"Hi I go to your school but you don't know me. I saw your blog from instagram and here I am. I don't wanna say my name cuz I feel like theres no need..well there is but then ppl from my year will ask if its me. Anyways im alone at school. I have no 'clique or group' because all the people in my year care about stupid things like what lessons they have and stuff. So stupid. I dunno about the other people in my year because they are like me. They are sort of my acquaintances. Basically im that girl that sits in the back of the classroom and always ends up with people who aren't fond of me when it comes to partnerwork in class. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to communicate. im sick of this. thankiess for reading this btw =)"  - 12, Anonymous

Well first of all, hey anonymous. How are you? Go grab some snacks and get comfortable. Again, I'll try my best to be as real and helpful as I possibly can.

I'll start off by saying that you know what, in your head right now, define alone. What does it mean? I'm not being funny but you said that there are other people like you in your year? What does that even mean? Well anonymous, why not socialize with them? They could be feeling exactly the same as you. It takes two to tango. It's quite easy to say that you are alone when in fact you don't have to be. You are choosing to be.

Woah stop and don't hate me now but you sort of said it yourself you know? There are others 'like you'. In your head, think. How are they like you. Use it as an advantage. SOCIALIZE. It's easy to find someone to spend a lot of time with, bond and have fun but I feel like you have high standards when it comes to who you allow into your life. I'm sure not all of your classmates complain about their lessons everyday. It seems as if you don't particularly like these people who complain. If you don't then ok, sure, do your thing but being alone and choosing to be alone are completely different things.

Let me explain.

Actually being alone means you literally have no one. You don't know how to interact. You feel isolated. Alienated. You think everybody hates you. People who you think you are able to rely on, aren't there for you. Why? Just because. Actually being alone is completely okay. You are your own worst enemy. You are your own obstacle. Being alone is fine. If you are actually alone, learn to enjoy it. I'm being serious. You are the most trustworthy person in your life. Learn to solve problems because you become a much stronger and more confident person. When that confidence comes, say goodbye to loneliness.

Choosing to be alone is completely different. You chose not to sit with people or communicate with them 'just because'. You chose to ignore greetings from others because you don't feel returning it back. Some people do it for attention, trust me. Many people may or may not agree with what I am saying but again, this is just how I think. Choosing to not interact with other people that are 'just like them' is in my opinion, stupid. Don't hate me anonymous because seriously, read what you sent me in your e-mail.

If there are others like you, then you know exactly how they must be feeling too right? If you are not happy with being alone, then do something about it! Don't just feel sorry for yourself girl/boy (whatever gender you are lol). Please listen to me. And another thing, you're only 12. Give it time. I'm assuming that you're in year 7 or 8? Give it time. I don't know how much time but 'cliques' come and go. I honestly do not know one 'clique' or 'group' that has stayed the same since year 7 till now (year 11). It changes. People change.

If you do not know how to communicate then start spending time with different people. See who you share interests with. DING DING DING. Here's an idea, start off with the people who you said that were 'just like you'. I'm not saying go up to them and claim that you are best friends but start small. Small talk all the way! Even better if they are in the same class as you too! Check if their was any homework or ask for notes. You have to start small anonymous.

Once you've found common interest within different people, start conversations regarding that interest. For example, if you have met someone that likes football or basketball just as much as you, ask who their favourite team is, or their favourite players. You need to build up conversations in order to make them feel comfortable as well. After that, just be a good friend. A good friend asks how they are feeling, if anything's bothering them, helps them in situations etc. Become a good listener. You need to show that you are interested in what the person is saying (like their likes and dislikes). Find a common ground with them and go from there.

Now here's the conclusion to your little situation. Listen and listen well... You have seriously got to not complain anymore and start acting upon your frustration. I think I have given you the basis of what needs to be done anonymous. I don't know if you're shy or have difficulty approaching others, but you need to try. It won't kill a person to ask if they have any notes from a certain lesson. Please just try.

I am going to leave you with this quote.

As cheesy as it may seem, it is so true. Let's be real. You'll come across people that will hurt or deceive you, but you have to go with it. No one is perfect (everyone knows that but needs reminding of it sometimes). Just try to be more sociable. Thanks anonymous and good luck x

If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

For now...
SALUTATIONS X

Tas Talks Tuesday: Makeup

Warrrrrrrrup everyone. If you did not understand what I just said, then meh, I basically said 'hey' in a cool way.
So today is a controversial topic aimed towards girls (or guys, if you know... you wear makeup). It's not controversial but to be honest, almost everyone who wears makeup goes through it.

Welcome to Tas Talks.

So the e-mail that I received really interested me because it's something that I have advised to others and what many other teenagers have been through. How to wear makeup? No... More like how to get out of wearing it so much. Now, I'm not saying I wear layers of makeup because I never will and I never did, simply because I feel uncomfortable and heavy? Is that just me? I don't know. Let's just get on shall we -_-

"Hello Tasneem. I know you from school but you don't know me because im in year 9 but basically I wanted to say your blog's helped me through like a lot so yh. I didn't want to ask you in person cuz I was scared loooool but email is just as good iguess? So I wear tons of makeup and I wear it badly. I want to get out of the habit of wearing it cuz I get called lots of things like sket, slut and you know the rest. I don't like it when ppl try to say that I want to impress boys because that's embarrassing but the reason why I wear lots of makeup is because I actually do want guys to notice me more. Youknow your other post about types of friends and stuff, yeah im not the pretty friend. I wanna be though. How do I get more confident cuz I see you and you are so confident. thanks..!" - Anonymous, 13

As all my other Tas Talks Tuesday, the advice I will now give you may seem harsh but hey, that's just my opinion. You choose whether to take it or not (as always!) Thank you for your e-mail though anonymous! :D

The quote above says it all. First of all, I'm going to build up on this 'beauty' business because it truly is in the eye of the beholder. Your smile, your warmth, your kind hearted personality can capture somebody's heart... not the thickness of your fake eyelashes. You want to impress boys? You're 13 years old. You'll have plenty of time for boys later when you're 30! Lol joke, more like when you're 18 or something, but that's your decision however, from my opinion, you need to focus on getting good grades and making something of yourself. Those boys from your year are just crushes. Don't rely on them to get you a good education. Focus on what's important. YOU. I don't know who you are or what religion you are in but in Islam, makeup can be a difficult topic to discuss and debate about. You see with makeup, you expect people (especially people of your opposite sex) to perceive you as a 'hotspice' as you youngers would say! However, in Islam it teaches us Muslims to 'lower our gaze'. Why? Because we should, sorry, we must behave modestly and carry ourselves humbly between one another. I always say this but I personally believe that it's what my intentions are. If I put on a bit of mascara and some lip gloss, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm automatically wanting to impress boys! Of course, I know myself that it isn't the case of wanting to look good, but it's more to feel good about myself. Now STOP and don't assume that I'm the type of person who can't leave the house without makeup because trust me I can. Do you know why? Because I am comfortable with myself. My bare faced self. You say that i'm confident? Well because I've learnt to accept myself for myself! I appreciate what God has given me and embraced it. Start trying to accept yourself anonymous! There's only one of you.
Ah makeup is such a touchy subject but I feel like if you are comfortable with what you look like without any facial products slapped upon your face, then work it girl! You 'do you'. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'm not saying makeup is a bad thing. I'm not exactly perfect because I do wear makeup, but I swear to you, I only wear it if I'm bothered to! Seriously I am one lazy person when it comes to looking 'my best' with fancy clothes and what society's take on a 'flawless' face would be. I am more of a comfort clother. If I'm not comfortable, then honey I aint wearing it! As for you saying that you want to be that 'pretty' friend, no, don't. Be yourself!!! I cannot stress that enough. I'm a believer in makeup being able to embrace your features and beauty, not cover and conceal it! If you have beautiful big blue eyes and you want to wear mascara, go ahead (as long as it doesn't clump because that looks horrible to be honest).

Now I'm going to wrap this post up but I want to say to you firstly that 1) don't wear makeup to impress boys, especially at your age! 2) the best way to try and wear less makeup is to go at your own pace by taking it off everyday, for example, if you wear the whole full face thing, go one day without blusher, the next day without filled in eyebrows, the day after no lipstick. Just try... 3) Be more confident! LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. 4) Don't you dare think you are not wanted, loved or beautiful because you are. You may not fit into somebody's definition of 'beauty' but to someone else, you are the most perfect person they've ever layed their eyes upon. Last but not least, number 5) be a beautiful person on the interior and do not worry so much about your exterior. Seriously, to any person who likes someone for their looks and their looks only, MAN YOU TRIPPIN'. Looks fade and grow old, hearts stay the same, whether it's pure or full of mould. Be a better you. Be the best you. Your smile is your makeup girl :) I'm going to leave you with this quote.

"Confidence: wear it LIKE you wear makeup. Perfect and fierce"

And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for your queries my #neemers! Good luck anonymous. I hope you overcome your problems x


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com
For now...
SALUTATIONS X

DELAY! Tas Talks Tuesday: Parents

Oh dear. Please forgive me as I did not post anything on Tuesday :( IT WAS EID! Eid Mubarak to all those who celebrated!
As I was going through my e-mails I came across one that I (as well as many other teenagers) could relate to. Especially us girls. Yes, today is about parents. Ooh interesting...

Welcome to Tas Talks.

So this young lady wanted to be anonymous for personal reasons. Her issue was with her parents but more specifically, her mother. Let's begin.

"Hello Tasneem. My names ****** and ive got serious issues with my mum. All we ever do is fight and stuff and it gets so annoying at times cuz she shouts at me for no reason. It's usually about me going out (ok I admit I do go out a lot, usually in the evening) How can I stop arguing with her? Im sick of it and I cant remember the last time we had a nice cup of tea and watched tv together like normal mums and daughters. HELPPPPP! Thanks hon x" -  Anonymous, 16

Howdy anonymous! Well first and foremost, thank you for the e-mail. I promise you guys I do read all of them and even if I don't post it on my blog, I will reply to it! Remember anonymous, my advice to you may seem completely right or horrendously wrong! You choose whether to take it or not :)



Aaah parents. My loves. Honestly, you must cherish and love your parents no matter what. We forget that as we're getting old, so are they. At the end of the day, they do honestly want the best for you. I know my parents do (All praise be to God). Remember that "we never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves". I mean I think that said it all?
I understand parents, especially mothers can be quite protective when it comes to going out with friends, especially if it's in the evening as you said. The days are getting shorter. The sky is getting darker. Unfortunately there are crazy and dangerous people lurking about and some people have to face them. I think the reason why your mother shouts at you is because she is scared. Any mother would, especially as you're going out in the evening. As I say to myself, my mother knows best. She was also a teenager too anonymous. Your mother knows from experience (not saying anything bad had happened to her hopefully) but you get my drift. Maybe her shouting is just her expressing her emotions in a way she feels like you'll listen to. I don't know, I'm just guessing? My mother does that lol.

My advice to you? Go to your mum and give her a hug. Don't say anything. Just hug her. Hug her and then tell her you love her. It's not sappy, it's not unnecessary, and it certainly isn't weird. She's your mum. Trust me she'll be so happy. Tell her that you will listen to her more. Remember that this world is only temporary. Make every moment count when it comes to treating your parents right. Please, just do it for the sake of starting fresh and being on good terms with one another. Apologise for whatever wrong doing you may or may not have committed. This will let her know that you do indeed care and are not one of those 'OMG MUM I HATE YOU' type of teens. Unfortunately many young women live up to that sort of behaviour and wow... what bloody brats!

I'm going to leave you with this quote anonymous.
"One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad." - Jim DeMint
And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for your queries my #neemers! Good luck anonymous. I hope you do what's right x


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

For now...
SALUTATIONS X

Tas Talks Tuesday: Hijabs

OH HI! It's been quite a while since I've posted something... well it feels long. Today will be one of many 'Advice' bloggie posts. You send me your questions/queries/issues and i'll answer them. Welcome to 'Tas Talks'.

So here is the first problem that one of my readers have! This young lady goes by the name of Humaira. Hey Humaira :)
Guys and girls, if you do not want your name to be shown here then don't worry, i'll put your question as an anonymous post. Let' begin.

"Assalamu-alaikum (that's a greeting in Arabic, 'hello') My name is Humaira Yasmina. I've read your blog and masallah you're doing great. I just wanted to ask your opinion on something quite personal to me. I'm obviously Muslim but I don't wear the hijab (headscarf) but I've always wanted to. I'm scared that I won't look good in it and people might just stare. How did you first start wearing it? What style? And was it/is it easy for you?" - 13, London.

Well first of all, thank you for your question. I understand that you want my honest opinion, hence the reason why I have started doing this type of 'series'. How you choose to take my advice is in your hands. You either want to take my advice, or don't. It's fine :D Here is my response:


Wa-alaikumusalam (Arabic response for the greeting above) Thank you very much for the positive comment on my blog :o) In'Sha'Allah many other people feel the same way. So you are quite hesitant to not wear the headscarf because you're scared you won't look good or people might stare. My sister, listen (or read) very carefully. WHO CARES. It's all about your intentions at the end of the day. If you want to wear the Hijab, then your intention should be to please Allah SWT only. Not your friends, family, and yes, not even strangers! Looking 'good'? I'll be brutally honest here, I have done an outfit of the day post etc, mainly because I do personally get asked how to dress modestly. Maybe my dressing isn't 'modest' in some peoples eyes because I wore leopard trousers for example, but I knew what my intention was, and it wasn't to please or impress anyone. I felt confident that day and I was comfortable with myself. I haven't ever received negative feedback on what I've worn (Alhamdulillah) but In'Sha'Allah I can reach that extra step in faith and start wearing the Burka. If Allah wills.
Style? I kind of just wrap it in a way where everything is covered basically -inserts lol here-. If you genuinely do not know how to wrap your Hijab, then there are plenty of tutorials on how to on YouTube. My personal favourite is a youtuber named Amenakin'. Ma'Sha'Allah she is such an inspiration. I first started to wear the Hijab last year in the beginning of September. Why? Because I felt spiritually ready. I was so overwhelmed :D I wouldn't say it was the easiest thing at first (but Alhamdullilah I didn't put it on and take it off) because of a FEW individuals and the 'looks' but as you are from London, I'm sure everyone has seen a girl in a headscarf. It's only a few people who do not understand the concept of it and disagree with it. Their loss :) 

Now for the solution to your problem. Don't rush into anything Humaira. Seriously. Allah knows what's in your heart. Also remember Hijab is not just about covering your head. It's your identity. How you treat, speak and act towards others as well. I hope you take my advice on board. Thank you for sharing your problem with my little #neemers. YES YOU. YOU ARE NOW A 'NEEMER'. THANKS! Hehe, e-mail me again soon In'Sha'Allah. I hope everything goes well. Good luck x

And there we have it! A little taster of what 'Tas Talks' would be about. Not just Hijabs obviously, it's up to you on what you want me to write about next really (your problems/queries).

If I get at least one e-mail every week, I'll try to make it a 'Tas Talks Tuesday'. Yay for Alliteration *clap clap*


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

For now...
SALUTATIONS X

Fierce

Hello my beauties! Welcome to my first outfit of the day (OOTD) where I show you what I... wear for the day. You get the drift right?

So today was my friends sweet sixteenth and obviously, we ladies gots' to be looking cute. With me obviously covering, looking modest was no problem. For all my Hijabi ladies, this is how I rocked harem print trousers with a pop of colour.

 



Scarf: H&M
Cardigan: Croydon Market (Outside Sam's 99p Store)
Top: Basics from Primark
Leopard Harem Trousers: Boohoo.com
Wedge Heels: H&M
Watch: Debenhams
Ring: Primark

I really loved the red against the leopard print because it just makes it look really pretty. If you want to either dress up or dress down and outfit for any occasion, then a pop of colour will do. To simplify this look for a day out, I would've worn some cute gladiator sandals with a denim jacket instead of the cardigan. However, because it was more of an evening look, I wore wedge heels and a bright cardi.

Hope you liked the outfit ladies, there are many more outfit posts to come!

For now...
SALUTATIONS X

Types Of Friends

Good Morning, Good Afternoon or Good Evening. I don't know where you are in this beautiful world but hello!
How are you? You good? How's life? Was your day good too? Family okay? Friends nice? Make yourself a cuppa (English term for cup of tea) and enjoy this post because today ladies and gents, is story time!

Today for me personally, was a day where I somehow reflected upon various things. Sixth Form (College), friends, family and me. Where the heck was I going in life? I thought about this blog, my grades, school and 100+ more typical things that a teenager over thinks about. Lovely isn't it?

Whilst I was over thinking (as per usual) about all the possible downfalls I could face in life in general, I thought about how badly I was trying to impress everybody. Why do I do that? I'll tell you why, people. People are so mean, especially the ones closest to you... friends.

I mean, we all have that brainiac friend that just intimidates the life out of you when you complain about how badly your maths lesson went or something (hint hint to anyone that goes to my school). I mean, honestly come on! They're standing there all smart and stuff when you complain about how you don't get an equation or something and they ask you the killer question: "do you want help"? DUDE. NO.
Some of you are probably thinking how on earth is that intimidating... well you're probably that 'brainiac' i'm talking about right now! When this certain brainiac asks you if you want their help, you just want to hide. Seriously. I don't know why but for me, I get embarrassed if they ever want me to ask them for help. It's frustrating and inside I feel like they're laughing at me. It's not paranoia, it's just embarrassment. Sometimes you just don't know whether that brainiac genuinely wants to help you or not.

Don't get me started on that certain 'pretty' friend. Oh LORD! We all have that 'pretty' friend who has to take everything you want away from you. EVERYTHING. You find a certain someone attractive, NOPE THEY ADD THEM ON FACEBOOK. You want to enter a school club, NOPE THEY GOTTA COME WITH YOU. You want the last cupcake in the school canteen, NOPE THAT'S THEIRS TOO. I mean seriously? Just stop it. You know who you are ¬_¬ 

And now we finally arrive to that plain ass 'conceited' friend. This so called companion is as vain as a peacock. They cannot stop talking about themselves. When will they learn to shut their mouth? C'mon, we all know about those annoying stories where "some guy was staring at them for so long they just had to leave the room" or how "some woman kept giving them dirty looks because she was jealous of their appearance". Listen, if you are one of those vain friends, just stop it. You sound ridiculous. If I could tell you the amount of times where I've heard from my 'conceited' friend that a man was staring, proposing, winking or touching them, I would be typing all day to be honest. Once is enough for me thanks. OH MY GOSH, don't even get me started on the amount of times they put someone down for their looks and how that person doesn't 'look right'. That is a pet peeve of mine.
There is a massive difference between confidence and being vain. Remember, you cannot be humble and conceited.  

I'm not stereotyping ladies and gents, it's the plain truth. We all have that type of 'friend'. They change, their egos enlarge and us loyal friends have to deal with it. It's okay not to be okay. I have to remind myself of this too.

And that wraps up my second blog post!
WOOOOOO (does 3 star jumps, goes out of breath and takes a seat on a revolving chair)
I hope that you could relate to this in some sort of way.. actually no. I would rather you have a nice life filled with amazing friends :) Smile and be happy. That's a reminder to myself aswell. I promise I'll try if you do ;)

For now...
SALUTATIONS x    

Hey there!

Oh hello you beauty... yes I am indeed talking to you.

So I always wanted to start a blog because it was like a 'diary', people said. Also because most of my friends said that I should spread my weird persona on the internet.
*spreads*

There... you are now a weirdo like me.
I think I should start off by introducing myself right?
Hello, my name is Tasneem Ahmed. I am currently 15 years old (16 on the 6th July.. I'll be expecting a prezzie in the post, wink wink)
 

Yes that is me above. Don't mind the faux model pose.
 
So anyways, you'd probably want to know what the hell my domain name's meaning is ("Finding Neem"). Well basically, I wont lie to you... Everyone knows the film 'Finding Nemo' right? Well you know how I have the word 'neem' in my name Tasneem... yes that's pretty much why. Finding Neem. Catchy. Not copyrighted. Sorted ;)
 
Actually now that sounds really stupid so I'm just going to go with the fact that I'm still trying to 'find my inner self'. Yeah that sounds better. There you go internet!
 
I hope you sort of liked this quick little post. It was nothing special I know but don't worry about it. My blog will consist of many things such as my music... WAIT WHAT?!
Hijabi that does music?! Well who would've thought eh?
 
I kinda forgot to mention that I rap a bit... sing... song write... aha, my bad. Also I will be doing OOTD (outfit of the day) posts if I look half decent.
 
Expect many things ladies In'Sha'Allah (If Allah wills)
 
For now...
SALUTATIONS x