Tas Talks Tuesday: Who's Got You?

Assalamualaikum everyone - hello, hi, greetings. Before I begin, can I just say pat on the back to myself. It's my blog's 3rd year anniversary today! Thank you all for your continuous support and for always coming back to read what I have to say. I truly appreciate it and continue to strive to post better content for you <3 Here's to another 3+ years of blogging, youtubing and all that other goodness. I don't ever plan to stop doing what I love, so thank you for allowing me to share this journey with you. Let's get down to it.

"Real eyes, Realize, Real highs". 
Let that sink in for a moment.

Are you comfortable with your circle, your group, your clique? Do you think all of your 'friends' are actually there for you when you need them most? How about when you don't know that you need them? You're alone in your room, dealing with the same old problems that you have to deal with. No one's actually there for you though right? Maybe virtually, with whatsapp and whatnot. But who's actually there for you? It's safe to say that many people will come and go in your life, but the ones who have always had your back will always find a way back to you - even if you haven't spoken for years. Loyalty makes you family in my eyes, nothing else. Who's got you though? What makes you differentiate a friend between someone who's like family? Let's explore this.

A friend. Google states that a friend is a "person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection". In my opinion, a friend is someone who cares for you, doesn't judge you for your past and believes in your future. This is the person you can open up to without feeling like they will criticise you or your situation. They advise you, look after you and want the best for you. Friend's argue and disagree, but those real friends will always come back to you. Always. I promise you this. Realise how I said 'you can open up to' instead of 'you tell them everything'. This is crucial. People like to believe that if you have many friends, they know everything about you. I'm blessed to have many good friends, but that doesn't mean they must know absolutely everything about me, does it? We all need to have boundaries when it comes to opening up. Okay, cool, you want to tell someone everything about yourself, your past problems etc, fine. Don't expect everyone else to though. I'll elaborate: 

I don't know if this is me personally or if it's an actual huge percentage of us, but I do not like speaking about my personal private life too much, to the point where it's always a topic of discussion. We all have our own lives to uphold and maintain, and some aspects need to be done in private... by ourselves. Your friends do not have to know every single detail about your life - and that's completely okay. Don't think you're being a bad 'friend' if you take more time to open up to someone or don't open up to them about certain aspects of your life. It's your life. I don't think anyone is obliged to force information out of you with the excuse of them being a 'friend'. That just doesn't make sense. 
And if you are one of those individuals thinking right now, "well I should know everything that goes on in my friends life", then please get rid of this thought. I agree that we should know specific information about our friends, specific issues and/or situations that affect our friends present or future, but damn - give them some space. Let them open up to you in their own time and do not force anything. My point is this: if what I have to say affects our friendship, my happiness, your happiness or our future, I will tell you. If it's not relevant to you or to our friendship, why must you know? I'm going slightly off topic but I really did have to get that off my chest. 

Familia. These 'friends' do not even come under the category of friends because they are so much more, end of story. They know you inside out because you've connected with them on a stronger and deeper level. They're loyal and will be the first ones you call whenever you are in a bad situation. Friends care about your future, but family makes sure you attain this future, with them in it. Friends care for you but family makes you their priority. Friends won't judge you but family will keep it real with you and will tell you straight up what's on their mind. You need family in your life. Blood does not determine this bond. 

It's so important to have at least one of these types of people in your lives. It's like a necessity. One thing I will tell you all though, do not waste your time with certain people. If you haven't already, watch my video below where I go into a bit more depth about people being 'idiots'. If you've already seen this, carry on reading.

"From 16 to 22, you meet a lot of temporary people". Friends grow apart sometimes. You'll catch yourself praying to God to remove those who are bad for you, and you'll slowly but surely see your circle decreasing. The question is, have they been removed from your life because they're 'bad' for you, or have you been removed from their lives because you're bad for them? Interesting how this friendship thing works, right?

I'll conclude with this: you are important. You were born to be loved and spread love. Do not let criticisms from others get to your heart and focus on who's actually got you - they are the only people you need. I remember when I was much younger, I believed that I genuinely had 30 friends, when in reality, most of them never had my back. I'm growing up and so are you. Realise who's down for you. You'll think that you have everyone's best interest at heart but guess what? Life has a funny way of making you realise that most people are not good for you and you are not good for them. 
Your time on this earth is limited. Focus on yourself, your dreams, ambitions and legacy. Don't waste it on people who will never appreciate you. Thank you for reading.

tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

SALUTATIONS x

Social Media Woes - Part One

Assalamualaikum ladies and gents! I hope you are all well and enjoying your holiday so far. First, please head to my channel and watch my new video, 'Annoying People On Social Media': http://youtu.be/v4oHbRNVXVY

It's a little light hearted rant that i'm sure you will potentially find amusing. Thank you for taking the time out to read/watch my content. You do not understand how much I appreciate it. This blog post will however, contrast the video as I am going to write about the negative impact social media has upon this generation as opposed to just 'annoying people' in general. Grab a drink, relax, open up your mind and read ahead. 

You are not the selfie you post on Instagram.

You are not the amount of likes you receive on your Facebook post.

You are not the amount of retweets your tweet has.

Your identity may be placed on your social media, but your soul is not.

Social media has grasped almost every single living person's attention. In fact, we, the younger generation, are almost encouraged to use social media to our advantage. Universities look for a unique selling point in each of us, whether we blog, make videos, have a photography website or have our own online business. Yes, there are many advantages of having social media accounts, but there are still so many negatives that occur. You are what you share. I don't care how many times you've heard or read something similar to what I am about to write, but seriously, be careful and aware of how you portray yourself to be on the internet. 

No this isn't a bullying campaign, nor is it a lecture on what photographs you should post on your websites. This is something more important. 

How do you make people feel on the internet?

 

Countless amounts of times I have seen cyber-bullying on different social platforms. Whether it's a dislike on a YouTube video, a 'thumbs down' emoticon on an Facebook post or an extremely abusive comment on an Instagram photo, it is very apparent that we as a young generation can be absolute idiots on social media. We can be fake, disgusting and horrid. Just because someone favourite's your tweet, doesn't mean they like or appreciate you for the content of your character. The saying goes, "do not fear the enemy that attacks you, fear the fake friend that hugs you". People can just be fake as hell to be honest. I, myself have personally experienced this. Your online friends can admire you, tell you how pretty you are or how cool your life is, but as soon as you turn around, there they are, back biting. I don't want to be associated with a knock off version of the 'mean girls', and neither should you. This applies to you males as well.  

Do not let compliments get to your head and do not let criticisms get to your heart - a simple lesson we should all take on board. The way some people treat others on social media can be so appalling. I want you to realise that what you say to someone online, as well as face to face, can affect that person deeply. We withhold the power to make or break someone's day. Let's start making people feel better about themselves then making them feel inferior. I want to touch upon many topics within this subject, firstly for my female readers. I will post the 'male' side to this topic next week so stay tuned for that.

Why do you let the social standards of beauty get to you? Why is it that when you see an attractive female on the internet, your confidence quickly disintegrates? Are you sad that you cannot look like that individual? Are you angry that no one has recognised your beauty like they have to them? Well stop. It's extremely unfortunate that some females think they are not beautiful because they do not look like the girls that get 'worshipped' on social media. Don't think I am trying to take away anything from you ladies that receive this praise; I'm simply trying to reinforce my sisters that do not appreciate themselves that, they are in fact absolutely beautiful. Is that wrong?

This is for the ladies that feel too 'fat' and cannot embrace their curves. This is for the ladies that feel to 'anorexic' and cannot appreciate their slim physique. This is to the women who are classed as the 'plain janes' of the group because they do not wear make-up. This is for each and every one of you who feel depressed and irritated about what you look like. I appreciate you, my readers appreciate you, your family, friends, relatives and everyone else who do not openly compliment people (i.e. approach people in public) appreciates you. Embrace your appearance and focus on allowing your character to shine through. We do not have to tear each other down or envy each other on social media in order to feel some sense of empowerment. You're a Queen. I see you.

As I previously stated, there are many topics within this subject I feel the need to speak about. This was just a little reminder for my female readers that need to remember how important they are. You mean something to somebody. Treasure that. Don't feel like you're decreasing your 'womanhood' by paying someone a compliment on their page. Tell them they look good and appreciate their beauty. I'm sure you would want the same. A simple compliment can honestly make someone's day. It doesn't hurt to give it. 

As always, any questions, queries or problems you have that you want my advice on, my e-mail is always open!

tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

Till next time,
SALUTATIONS x      

We're All Trying.

Assalamualikum everyone. To those who are participating, Ramadan Mubarak! I hope you reap the rewards of this beautiful and blessed month. God bless you all. Keep me and my family in your prayers In Sha Allah (God Willing). Today's post will have a sort of 'Ramadan' theme, as I shall discuss the problem of people belittling others as they try to better themselves. Before I move on to the post, click the link to watch my first official 'TasneemBlogs' YouTube video :) 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfKRMDokBkY

Let's begin.


The month of Ramadan is not only when Muslims fast for 30 days (sometimes 29) from sunrise to sunset, but is also the most perfect and blessed month of the year; arguably, the most awaited 'event' for a Muslim. Shaytaan (the devil) is locked away, so all actions coming from a person is purely their doing. There is no excuse for their negative behaviour. The month enables one to starve their stomach but feed their soul with inner peace, practise, prayer and contentment. What makes it even more beautiful is when Non-Muslims decide to fast in order to 'support' their friends or family, consequently leading them into feeling the amazing feeling that we Muslims feel: tranquillity. I swear, this month is meant for utter and complete peace, but why is it when some people try to better themselves, others are quick to judge? This doesn't just apply to people in the month of Ramadan or to Muslims only, but I will explain my views on those sections too.

Muslimahs. My brothers and sisters, we need to realise and understand that Allah did not create us perfect, and does not expect perfection. However, He does expect us to try our best. When you see a brother in Ramadan wearing his Thobe (Islamic dressing) as opposed to his usual jeans and hoody, why do you feel the need to point that out to other people around you, let alone saying this to yourself? Say Ma Sha Allah (all praise be to God) and keep everyone in your prayers that they continue their good habits even after Ramadan finishes. When you see a sister wearing a Hijab (headscarf) as opposed to her summer dresses, why do you feel the need to exaggerate that she doesn't wear it outside of Ramadan?
"She's a part time Hijabi"
"Look, her hair at the front is showing"
"You can see a bit of her skinny jeans showing underneath"
"He's a roadman outside of Ramadan"
"I bet his mum told him to wear that"
"Do they even pray though?"

PLEASE STOP! 

    

Who are we to be constantly focusing our energy on judging someone who is essentially trying to better themselves. Whether it is covering themselves, praying and reading the Quran (Islamic holy book) more or even visiting the Mosque regularly, they are receiving the rewards whilst you are depriving yourself from it. The beauty of this month is that it has become a turning point for so many Muslims across the world. Don't ruin and discourage those who are trying. This could be their turning point. This isn't a competition my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters. Use this month efficiently and really try to better yourselves. Back-biting is considered to be a major sin, so watch your mouth and don't say anything unless it's positive. This month is about what you do, how you treat people, what you say, what actions you commit and what you do to strive to become a better Muslim. Do not let a temporary moment of you judging another decrease the good you've committed so far. At the end of the day, we are all striving to become better. We are all trying.

Even when Ramadan ends and Shaytaan (the devil) is free again, bite your tongue and refrain from being judgemental. This is a reminder for me as well as for you: back-biting to your friends is STILL back-biting. This does not change what you are doing no matter who you are with. For you to constantly point out the flaws in others who are trying to become better human beings, is disgusting. What makes you so superior to them? Is it because you pray 5 times a day but they only do it 'sometimes'. Is it because your Hijab covers your head completely but that sister's baby hairs are sticking out? Is it because you are so prestigious, you can wear whatever you want but they can't because they are not 'always' following the modest dress code? My brothers and sisters, please stop this nonsense. Don't judge others because they sin differently to you. If you see someone sin, become a "private educator", not a "public tribunal". Also, don't use that as an excuse to view them as inferior to you. Stay humble and do not let your so called perfect self float in the sky with arrogance. 

We in general, have the tendency to judge everything and everyone. What separates us is what and how people act upon it. Some will think it, some will think it and say it, some will think it and say it to everyone they know, and the rest think it and choose to ignore their opinion and move on with their lives. Wouldn't the world be a much better place if we all strived to think like that? We are all facing a battle, all trying to overcome personal problems and we are all different. 

We are all trying. That is all. 

  

As always, any questions, queries or problems you have that you want my advice on, my e-mail is always open!

tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

Till next time,
SALUTATIONS x 

Don't Be Cruel To Be Kind

Assalamualaikum everyone. To all my student readers, I hope you achieve the grades you have worked so hard for in your exams. May God grant you all your wishes and dreams In Sha Allah (God Willing). Before I start, I am aware that I haven't posted in a while. This was due to my examinations that have finally ended, so In Sha Allah I do well. I have made some changes to the blog itself, tweaking it to my personal style with an official 'Finding Neem' logo. I hope you like it :)

Art credit to Tanisha Barry (has drawn all of my characters on my blog)

I have a couple of announcements to make too, so stick around till the end of the blog. Today I shall discuss the 'cruel' nature in people that claim to be 'kind'. Let's go. 


Religiously speaking, to be kind to others is heavily encouraged. The Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) stated "Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it. Whenever it is taken from something, it leaves it tarnished". Kindness is innate within all of us, however, we easily seem to forget this 'trait' in our day to day antics. Some of us have the ability to withhold any sense of negativity, whilst others seem to be more interested in letting people know what they truly think of them. This is not being outspoken, 'real', or truthful. This is simply cruel. You are being cruel.

Obviously I am talking about society in general. Negativity seem's to be of a regularity. They seem to think that stating their personal opinions of others to that particular person or to a group of friends, somehow makes them a superior person. It doesn't, so please remove yourself off the high pedestal that you have solely placed yourself on. This isn't a competition of superiority, nor is it a way of expressing your thoughts and feelings. Your negativity is not wanted. If you claim that you are giving an 'honest opinion', please refrain from speaking aloud. You cannot continue to live using the excuse of "that's how I am" to excuse your rude and inconsiderate behavior. That's not how it works.

Growing up, I have come to realise the extent people go in order to make someone feel bad about themselves. From posting comments on social media to backbiting to mutual friends, there is simply no limit for these people. They seem to do as they please with a carefree attitude, thinking that it will somehow get them far in life. Guess what? It doesn't. Please don't think that your hurtful comments about an individual will not eventually 'get to that person'. Trust me, I bet that they already know what you have said about them; they are simply being the bigger person and not addressing it to you in order to avoid conflict. Seriously, grow up. Ultimately, the rude and ignorant individual want to essentially impress their 'circle', their associates and the rest of the world. They appear to think that they are better than you, when in reality, they are only trying to convince themselves of this. These people are known as the stuck up kind, let me move onto another breed of rudeness. 

Now moving onto the individuals who seem to think that they are the Lord's gift to the world, assuming that their 'critical comments' will 'help' others or are a source of good nature. Snap out of that please. These type of people seem to believe that their opinion is genuinely correct and that everyone else should believe it too. This should not be the case, as 'rudeness' should not be followed or practiced. In essence, this issue is not about people being able to "handle the truth" because at the end of the day, your opinion is "your truth". Accept it, build a bridge and get over it. No one should have to sit and listen to you continuously talk bad about someone. I honestly don't understand why people do not stick up for others. There is a distinctive difference on wanting to and being unable to. I get that some individuals do not have the confidence to speak their minds and support the victims of cruel words, but there has to be a point in which you are able to. If you, yes you, are an individual that is surrounded by people or a person who talks ill of others, what does that make you? Do you agree with what they are saying? You are being cruel. Do you disagree with what they are saying? Speak up. If you can't, leave that person. Chances are, they've spoken ill of you too. The world needs more kind people. We all can be that person. Let's try to be that person. We rise by lifting others. 




That is all I have to speak on about rudeness at this moments in time, however, I will elaborate more in the near future. Now time for the announcement!

Some of you may or may not know that I previously posted YouTube videos on my blog as a source of 'entertainment' as my blogs are arguably more on the serious side of things. I have however, decided to take those videos off and placed them as 'unlisted' on my settings. This means that you cannot search these videos on YouTube, but you can however still view them if you have the link. I will still leave the video links on my blog (you need to find the particular blog post in order to see them). The reason I have done this is because I really want to officially start a YouTube channel, with good content and a good editing style. My other videos were only for the purpose of the blog, so I was not fussed about the editing etc. If you want to support my official channel 'TasneemBlogs', then you can by clicking 'subscribe'. I want to try this whole YouTube thing out. Let's see where it takes me.. 

http://www.youtube.com/TasneemBlogs

In Sha Allah you have enjoyed this blog post, the new theme/layout and are just as excited for this whole YouTube thing. I will be posting a introduction video soon. As always, any questions, queries or problems you have that you want my advice on, my e-mail is always open!

tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

Till next time,
SALUTATIONS x 

Why So Selfish?

Assalamualaikum everyone! To my student readers, I hope you are studying for exams and meeting those deadlines! It's been a while but I'll cut straight to the point. Selfish human, I am speaking to you.

Je Suis Muslim

Assalamualaikum everyone. Today I am going to get straight into it, the topic revolving around the events which occurred in Paris a couple of days ago. First watch my video where I put a couple of points across. 

Oh Allah, please continue to increase my knowledge. Ameen.

We are aware that this topic is not in my favour, nor should it be constantly discussed in a biased manner. It's honestly come to the point where I am tired of consistently repeating myself, so guess what? I won't.

The events which took place was a terrorist attack, no doubt it. And no, it wasn't called a terrorist attack because they were 'Muslim', it was called that because it was. Plain and simple.

Muslims vs the World.
I understand that the cartoons drawn by that magazine company were extremely offensive. But guess what? The cartoons were not just aimed towards Islam - but to many other sects of people: Christians, Jews and even Presidents. I fail to understand why such extreme measures were taken. What happened to petitions... discussions? Why has this world succumbed to violence being the only solution to the peoples problems. Nothing but embarrassment and sorrow is filled in my heart and I promise you, the fallen continue to be in my prayers. Yes there is an extent in which people can take regarding religious offences, but condemning violence is against the Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him)... it's against your religion. End of story. 

Then again, saying that there is no longer 'freedom of speech' is utterly ridiculous. Freedom of speech still exists and being disgustingly offensive will also continue to exist. Think about it like this, if you had a conversation with someone, they can essentially say anything to you because they have the right to their own opinion, however, if they intentionally offend you, that is simply rude. Yes, you can have whatever opinion you want, and you can say what you wish, but if you have the intention of hurting someone with your opinion, you are disgusting. "Always ignore hateful attitude and rude behaviour of the people. They are powerless without your response". People are rude because they want a reaction. Unfortunately the employees of "Charlie Hebdo" gained an extremely negative reaction from two individuals, and they paid the price with their lives. It's actually really sad. May Allah forgive all of our sins.

To all my Muslim brothers and sisters that supported the violence towards the Charlie Hebdo company, may Allah SWT soften your heart and guide your lost souls. You have clearly no knowledge. If you think that the actions of those 'Muslims' was justifiable, you are deluded. The Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) did NOT condone violence. Subhan'Allah - imagine if the Prophet was alive today and this occurred. How would he react? Happy? Satisfied? No, disappointed and heartbroken. Disappointed in his Ummah (followers) because they let something small break their faith. They insult our Prophet with the things that they say, but we insult our Prophet by not following his way.

I refuse to continuously state that Muslims are not terrorists. It's getting old. You can't change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it. If someone offends you, your culture, family or religion, be the bigger person and walk away. Do not give someone the chance to say something bad about you because you reacted in a bad way. Stay strong all my Muslim brothers and sisters. We will forever be blamed for actions caused by a minority. Trust me you ignorant fool, if Islam was a violent religion, you would probably not be alive. There are approximately 1.6 billion Muslims in the world, and increasing, so if we were terrorists, let's just say wars would be the 'norm'. Change the tune and break the damn record. You calling an innocent man a terrorist due to his faith is pathetic. You can break me, hate me and shake me, but you can never change me. God is good. Islam is my life. Je suis Muslim and proud.

Let me break it down for you

• Terrorism is not associated with the sect of a person, it is based on action. Use the term correctly. 
• The Paris Shootings was a tragedy full stop. My condolences are with the families of the fallen. My condolences are with everyone who has suffered a tragedy.
• The criminals are Muslim by label but not Muslim by faith. Their actions were disgusting and unjustifiable. Justice has been brought to them.
• Islam does not condone violence.
• Blame the person, not the religion.

JE SUIS MUSLIM. 

That is all.

I have more to say but I think I have covered most things. Until next time.

Salutations.

READ THIS TOO. Click.

- email me for advice and queries tasahmedadvice@gmail.com