Tas Talks Tuesday: ALONE.

Greetings Weblings! I'm going to get straight to the point on this post because I feel like the title itself has already made you somewhat sad. Unfortunately the e-mail I read this week is not exactly something in my expertise because fortunately I haven't exactly experienced something like this. I'm going to try my best to advise this person (and you) well. No jokes today, I'll just get straight to it.

Welcome to Tas Talks.

"Hi I go to your school but you don't know me. I saw your blog from instagram and here I am. I don't wanna say my name cuz I feel like theres no need..well there is but then ppl from my year will ask if its me. Anyways im alone at school. I have no 'clique or group' because all the people in my year care about stupid things like what lessons they have and stuff. So stupid. I dunno about the other people in my year because they are like me. They are sort of my acquaintances. Basically im that girl that sits in the back of the classroom and always ends up with people who aren't fond of me when it comes to partnerwork in class. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to communicate. im sick of this. thankiess for reading this btw =)"  - 12, Anonymous

Well first of all, hey anonymous. How are you? Go grab some snacks and get comfortable. Again, I'll try my best to be as real and helpful as I possibly can.

I'll start off by saying that you know what, in your head right now, define alone. What does it mean? I'm not being funny but you said that there are other people like you in your year? What does that even mean? Well anonymous, why not socialize with them? They could be feeling exactly the same as you. It takes two to tango. It's quite easy to say that you are alone when in fact you don't have to be. You are choosing to be.

Woah stop and don't hate me now but you sort of said it yourself you know? There are others 'like you'. In your head, think. How are they like you. Use it as an advantage. SOCIALIZE. It's easy to find someone to spend a lot of time with, bond and have fun but I feel like you have high standards when it comes to who you allow into your life. I'm sure not all of your classmates complain about their lessons everyday. It seems as if you don't particularly like these people who complain. If you don't then ok, sure, do your thing but being alone and choosing to be alone are completely different things.

Let me explain.

Actually being alone means you literally have no one. You don't know how to interact. You feel isolated. Alienated. You think everybody hates you. People who you think you are able to rely on, aren't there for you. Why? Just because. Actually being alone is completely okay. You are your own worst enemy. You are your own obstacle. Being alone is fine. If you are actually alone, learn to enjoy it. I'm being serious. You are the most trustworthy person in your life. Learn to solve problems because you become a much stronger and more confident person. When that confidence comes, say goodbye to loneliness.

Choosing to be alone is completely different. You chose not to sit with people or communicate with them 'just because'. You chose to ignore greetings from others because you don't feel returning it back. Some people do it for attention, trust me. Many people may or may not agree with what I am saying but again, this is just how I think. Choosing to not interact with other people that are 'just like them' is in my opinion, stupid. Don't hate me anonymous because seriously, read what you sent me in your e-mail.

If there are others like you, then you know exactly how they must be feeling too right? If you are not happy with being alone, then do something about it! Don't just feel sorry for yourself girl/boy (whatever gender you are lol). Please listen to me. And another thing, you're only 12. Give it time. I'm assuming that you're in year 7 or 8? Give it time. I don't know how much time but 'cliques' come and go. I honestly do not know one 'clique' or 'group' that has stayed the same since year 7 till now (year 11). It changes. People change.

If you do not know how to communicate then start spending time with different people. See who you share interests with. DING DING DING. Here's an idea, start off with the people who you said that were 'just like you'. I'm not saying go up to them and claim that you are best friends but start small. Small talk all the way! Even better if they are in the same class as you too! Check if their was any homework or ask for notes. You have to start small anonymous.

Once you've found common interest within different people, start conversations regarding that interest. For example, if you have met someone that likes football or basketball just as much as you, ask who their favourite team is, or their favourite players. You need to build up conversations in order to make them feel comfortable as well. After that, just be a good friend. A good friend asks how they are feeling, if anything's bothering them, helps them in situations etc. Become a good listener. You need to show that you are interested in what the person is saying (like their likes and dislikes). Find a common ground with them and go from there.

Now here's the conclusion to your little situation. Listen and listen well... You have seriously got to not complain anymore and start acting upon your frustration. I think I have given you the basis of what needs to be done anonymous. I don't know if you're shy or have difficulty approaching others, but you need to try. It won't kill a person to ask if they have any notes from a certain lesson. Please just try.

I am going to leave you with this quote.

As cheesy as it may seem, it is so true. Let's be real. You'll come across people that will hurt or deceive you, but you have to go with it. No one is perfect (everyone knows that but needs reminding of it sometimes). Just try to be more sociable. Thanks anonymous and good luck x

If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

For now...
SALUTATIONS X

Tas Talks Tuesday: Makeup

Warrrrrrrrup everyone. If you did not understand what I just said, then meh, I basically said 'hey' in a cool way.
So today is a controversial topic aimed towards girls (or guys, if you know... you wear makeup). It's not controversial but to be honest, almost everyone who wears makeup goes through it.

Welcome to Tas Talks.

So the e-mail that I received really interested me because it's something that I have advised to others and what many other teenagers have been through. How to wear makeup? No... More like how to get out of wearing it so much. Now, I'm not saying I wear layers of makeup because I never will and I never did, simply because I feel uncomfortable and heavy? Is that just me? I don't know. Let's just get on shall we -_-

"Hello Tasneem. I know you from school but you don't know me because im in year 9 but basically I wanted to say your blog's helped me through like a lot so yh. I didn't want to ask you in person cuz I was scared loooool but email is just as good iguess? So I wear tons of makeup and I wear it badly. I want to get out of the habit of wearing it cuz I get called lots of things like sket, slut and you know the rest. I don't like it when ppl try to say that I want to impress boys because that's embarrassing but the reason why I wear lots of makeup is because I actually do want guys to notice me more. Youknow your other post about types of friends and stuff, yeah im not the pretty friend. I wanna be though. How do I get more confident cuz I see you and you are so confident. thanks..!" - Anonymous, 13

As all my other Tas Talks Tuesday, the advice I will now give you may seem harsh but hey, that's just my opinion. You choose whether to take it or not (as always!) Thank you for your e-mail though anonymous! :D

The quote above says it all. First of all, I'm going to build up on this 'beauty' business because it truly is in the eye of the beholder. Your smile, your warmth, your kind hearted personality can capture somebody's heart... not the thickness of your fake eyelashes. You want to impress boys? You're 13 years old. You'll have plenty of time for boys later when you're 30! Lol joke, more like when you're 18 or something, but that's your decision however, from my opinion, you need to focus on getting good grades and making something of yourself. Those boys from your year are just crushes. Don't rely on them to get you a good education. Focus on what's important. YOU. I don't know who you are or what religion you are in but in Islam, makeup can be a difficult topic to discuss and debate about. You see with makeup, you expect people (especially people of your opposite sex) to perceive you as a 'hotspice' as you youngers would say! However, in Islam it teaches us Muslims to 'lower our gaze'. Why? Because we should, sorry, we must behave modestly and carry ourselves humbly between one another. I always say this but I personally believe that it's what my intentions are. If I put on a bit of mascara and some lip gloss, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm automatically wanting to impress boys! Of course, I know myself that it isn't the case of wanting to look good, but it's more to feel good about myself. Now STOP and don't assume that I'm the type of person who can't leave the house without makeup because trust me I can. Do you know why? Because I am comfortable with myself. My bare faced self. You say that i'm confident? Well because I've learnt to accept myself for myself! I appreciate what God has given me and embraced it. Start trying to accept yourself anonymous! There's only one of you.
Ah makeup is such a touchy subject but I feel like if you are comfortable with what you look like without any facial products slapped upon your face, then work it girl! You 'do you'. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'm not saying makeup is a bad thing. I'm not exactly perfect because I do wear makeup, but I swear to you, I only wear it if I'm bothered to! Seriously I am one lazy person when it comes to looking 'my best' with fancy clothes and what society's take on a 'flawless' face would be. I am more of a comfort clother. If I'm not comfortable, then honey I aint wearing it! As for you saying that you want to be that 'pretty' friend, no, don't. Be yourself!!! I cannot stress that enough. I'm a believer in makeup being able to embrace your features and beauty, not cover and conceal it! If you have beautiful big blue eyes and you want to wear mascara, go ahead (as long as it doesn't clump because that looks horrible to be honest).

Now I'm going to wrap this post up but I want to say to you firstly that 1) don't wear makeup to impress boys, especially at your age! 2) the best way to try and wear less makeup is to go at your own pace by taking it off everyday, for example, if you wear the whole full face thing, go one day without blusher, the next day without filled in eyebrows, the day after no lipstick. Just try... 3) Be more confident! LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. 4) Don't you dare think you are not wanted, loved or beautiful because you are. You may not fit into somebody's definition of 'beauty' but to someone else, you are the most perfect person they've ever layed their eyes upon. Last but not least, number 5) be a beautiful person on the interior and do not worry so much about your exterior. Seriously, to any person who likes someone for their looks and their looks only, MAN YOU TRIPPIN'. Looks fade and grow old, hearts stay the same, whether it's pure or full of mould. Be a better you. Be the best you. Your smile is your makeup girl :) I'm going to leave you with this quote.

"Confidence: wear it LIKE you wear makeup. Perfect and fierce"

And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for your queries my #neemers! Good luck anonymous. I hope you overcome your problems x


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com
For now...
SALUTATIONS X

DELAY! Tas Talks Tuesday: Parents

Oh dear. Please forgive me as I did not post anything on Tuesday :( IT WAS EID! Eid Mubarak to all those who celebrated!
As I was going through my e-mails I came across one that I (as well as many other teenagers) could relate to. Especially us girls. Yes, today is about parents. Ooh interesting...

Welcome to Tas Talks.

So this young lady wanted to be anonymous for personal reasons. Her issue was with her parents but more specifically, her mother. Let's begin.

"Hello Tasneem. My names ****** and ive got serious issues with my mum. All we ever do is fight and stuff and it gets so annoying at times cuz she shouts at me for no reason. It's usually about me going out (ok I admit I do go out a lot, usually in the evening) How can I stop arguing with her? Im sick of it and I cant remember the last time we had a nice cup of tea and watched tv together like normal mums and daughters. HELPPPPP! Thanks hon x" -  Anonymous, 16

Howdy anonymous! Well first and foremost, thank you for the e-mail. I promise you guys I do read all of them and even if I don't post it on my blog, I will reply to it! Remember anonymous, my advice to you may seem completely right or horrendously wrong! You choose whether to take it or not :)



Aaah parents. My loves. Honestly, you must cherish and love your parents no matter what. We forget that as we're getting old, so are they. At the end of the day, they do honestly want the best for you. I know my parents do (All praise be to God). Remember that "we never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves". I mean I think that said it all?
I understand parents, especially mothers can be quite protective when it comes to going out with friends, especially if it's in the evening as you said. The days are getting shorter. The sky is getting darker. Unfortunately there are crazy and dangerous people lurking about and some people have to face them. I think the reason why your mother shouts at you is because she is scared. Any mother would, especially as you're going out in the evening. As I say to myself, my mother knows best. She was also a teenager too anonymous. Your mother knows from experience (not saying anything bad had happened to her hopefully) but you get my drift. Maybe her shouting is just her expressing her emotions in a way she feels like you'll listen to. I don't know, I'm just guessing? My mother does that lol.

My advice to you? Go to your mum and give her a hug. Don't say anything. Just hug her. Hug her and then tell her you love her. It's not sappy, it's not unnecessary, and it certainly isn't weird. She's your mum. Trust me she'll be so happy. Tell her that you will listen to her more. Remember that this world is only temporary. Make every moment count when it comes to treating your parents right. Please, just do it for the sake of starting fresh and being on good terms with one another. Apologise for whatever wrong doing you may or may not have committed. This will let her know that you do indeed care and are not one of those 'OMG MUM I HATE YOU' type of teens. Unfortunately many young women live up to that sort of behaviour and wow... what bloody brats!

I'm going to leave you with this quote anonymous.
"One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad." - Jim DeMint
And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for your queries my #neemers! Good luck anonymous. I hope you do what's right x


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

For now...
SALUTATIONS X

Tas Talks Tuesday: Hijabs

OH HI! It's been quite a while since I've posted something... well it feels long. Today will be one of many 'Advice' bloggie posts. You send me your questions/queries/issues and i'll answer them. Welcome to 'Tas Talks'.

So here is the first problem that one of my readers have! This young lady goes by the name of Humaira. Hey Humaira :)
Guys and girls, if you do not want your name to be shown here then don't worry, i'll put your question as an anonymous post. Let' begin.

"Assalamu-alaikum (that's a greeting in Arabic, 'hello') My name is Humaira Yasmina. I've read your blog and masallah you're doing great. I just wanted to ask your opinion on something quite personal to me. I'm obviously Muslim but I don't wear the hijab (headscarf) but I've always wanted to. I'm scared that I won't look good in it and people might just stare. How did you first start wearing it? What style? And was it/is it easy for you?" - 13, London.

Well first of all, thank you for your question. I understand that you want my honest opinion, hence the reason why I have started doing this type of 'series'. How you choose to take my advice is in your hands. You either want to take my advice, or don't. It's fine :D Here is my response:


Wa-alaikumusalam (Arabic response for the greeting above) Thank you very much for the positive comment on my blog :o) In'Sha'Allah many other people feel the same way. So you are quite hesitant to not wear the headscarf because you're scared you won't look good or people might stare. My sister, listen (or read) very carefully. WHO CARES. It's all about your intentions at the end of the day. If you want to wear the Hijab, then your intention should be to please Allah SWT only. Not your friends, family, and yes, not even strangers! Looking 'good'? I'll be brutally honest here, I have done an outfit of the day post etc, mainly because I do personally get asked how to dress modestly. Maybe my dressing isn't 'modest' in some peoples eyes because I wore leopard trousers for example, but I knew what my intention was, and it wasn't to please or impress anyone. I felt confident that day and I was comfortable with myself. I haven't ever received negative feedback on what I've worn (Alhamdulillah) but In'Sha'Allah I can reach that extra step in faith and start wearing the Burka. If Allah wills.
Style? I kind of just wrap it in a way where everything is covered basically -inserts lol here-. If you genuinely do not know how to wrap your Hijab, then there are plenty of tutorials on how to on YouTube. My personal favourite is a youtuber named Amenakin'. Ma'Sha'Allah she is such an inspiration. I first started to wear the Hijab last year in the beginning of September. Why? Because I felt spiritually ready. I was so overwhelmed :D I wouldn't say it was the easiest thing at first (but Alhamdullilah I didn't put it on and take it off) because of a FEW individuals and the 'looks' but as you are from London, I'm sure everyone has seen a girl in a headscarf. It's only a few people who do not understand the concept of it and disagree with it. Their loss :) 

Now for the solution to your problem. Don't rush into anything Humaira. Seriously. Allah knows what's in your heart. Also remember Hijab is not just about covering your head. It's your identity. How you treat, speak and act towards others as well. I hope you take my advice on board. Thank you for sharing your problem with my little #neemers. YES YOU. YOU ARE NOW A 'NEEMER'. THANKS! Hehe, e-mail me again soon In'Sha'Allah. I hope everything goes well. Good luck x

And there we have it! A little taster of what 'Tas Talks' would be about. Not just Hijabs obviously, it's up to you on what you want me to write about next really (your problems/queries).

If I get at least one e-mail every week, I'll try to make it a 'Tas Talks Tuesday'. Yay for Alliteration *clap clap*


If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com

For now...
SALUTATIONS X