Welcome to Tas Talks.
"Hi I go to your school but you don't know me. I saw your blog from instagram and here I am. I don't wanna say my name cuz I feel like theres no need..well there is but then ppl from my year will ask if its me. Anyways im alone at school. I have no 'clique or group' because all the people in my year care about stupid things like what lessons they have and stuff. So stupid. I dunno about the other people in my year because they are like me. They are sort of my acquaintances. Basically im that girl that sits in the back of the classroom and always ends up with people who aren't fond of me when it comes to partnerwork in class. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to communicate. im sick of this. thankiess for reading this btw =)" - 12, Anonymous
Well first of all, hey anonymous. How are you? Go grab some snacks and get comfortable. Again, I'll try my best to be as real and helpful as I possibly can.
I'll start off by saying that you know what, in your head right now, define alone. What does it mean? I'm not being funny but you said that there are other people like you in your year? What does that even mean? Well anonymous, why not socialize with them? They could be feeling exactly the same as you. It takes two to tango. It's quite easy to say that you are alone when in fact you don't have to be. You are choosing to be.
Woah stop and don't hate me now but you sort of said it yourself you know? There are others 'like you'. In your head, think. How are they like you. Use it as an advantage. SOCIALIZE. It's easy to find someone to spend a lot of time with, bond and have fun but I feel like you have high standards when it comes to who you allow into your life. I'm sure not all of your classmates complain about their lessons everyday. It seems as if you don't particularly like these people who complain. If you don't then ok, sure, do your thing but being alone and choosing to be alone are completely different things.
Let me explain.
Actually being alone means you literally have no one. You don't know how to interact. You feel isolated. Alienated. You think everybody hates you. People who you think you are able to rely on, aren't there for you. Why? Just because. Actually being alone is completely okay. You are your own worst enemy. You are your own obstacle. Being alone is fine. If you are actually alone, learn to enjoy it. I'm being serious. You are the most trustworthy person in your life. Learn to solve problems because you become a much stronger and more confident person. When that confidence comes, say goodbye to loneliness.
Choosing to be alone is completely different. You chose not to sit with people or communicate with them 'just because'. You chose to ignore greetings from others because you don't feel returning it back. Some people do it for attention, trust me. Many people may or may not agree with what I am saying but again, this is just how I think. Choosing to not interact with other people that are 'just like them' is in my opinion, stupid. Don't hate me anonymous because seriously, read what you sent me in your e-mail.
If there are others like you, then you know exactly how they must be feeling too right? If you are not happy with being alone, then do something about it! Don't just feel sorry for yourself girl/boy (whatever gender you are lol). Please listen to me. And another thing, you're only 12. Give it time. I'm assuming that you're in year 7 or 8? Give it time. I don't know how much time but 'cliques' come and go. I honestly do not know one 'clique' or 'group' that has stayed the same since year 7 till now (year 11). It changes. People change.
If you do not know how to communicate then start spending time with different people. See who you share interests with. DING DING DING. Here's an idea, start off with the people who you said that were 'just like you'. I'm not saying go up to them and claim that you are best friends but start small. Small talk all the way! Even better if they are in the same class as you too! Check if their was any homework or ask for notes. You have to start small anonymous.
Once you've found common interest within different people, start conversations regarding that interest. For example, if you have met someone that likes football or basketball just as much as you, ask who their favourite team is, or their favourite players. You need to build up conversations in order to make them feel comfortable as well. After that, just be a good friend. A good friend asks how they are feeling, if anything's bothering them, helps them in situations etc. Become a good listener. You need to show that you are interested in what the person is saying (like their likes and dislikes). Find a common ground with them and go from there.
Now here's the conclusion to your little situation. Listen and listen well... You have seriously got to not complain anymore and start acting upon your frustration. I think I have given you the basis of what needs to be done anonymous. I don't know if you're shy or have difficulty approaching others, but you need to try. It won't kill a person to ask if they have any notes from a certain lesson. Please just try.
I am going to leave you with this quote.
As cheesy as it may seem, it is so true. Let's be real. You'll come across people that will hurt or deceive you, but you have to go with it. No one is perfect (everyone knows that but needs reminding of it sometimes). Just try to be more sociable. Thanks anonymous and good luck x
If you would like to e-mail me on my blog account then here it is: tasahmedadvice@gmail.com
For now...
SALUTATIONS X
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